Take Back That Phallic Attack, Jackass

Dave Farina, owner of the Professor Dave Explains YouTube channel with 4.18 million subscribers as of the day of this blog post, is as delightfully insufferable as he is brilliant. His content consists of structured, educational tutorials aimed at college students, and dumpsterfire debunk videos calling out science deniers, creationists, and antivaxxers. Dave likes to both quench our thirst for knowledge with factually dense, well-researched videos that are meticulously edited with high production value… and also feed our sadism with belligerent reaction-video brainrot.

I once had him on my now-stolen and defunct YouTube channel, The Wavelength, for what was objectively the worst episode of our show Deep Six that we ever produced. He was stiff and awkward to talk to, as he never says more than precisely what he was directly asked, as if he's had a lifetime of practice being interrogated by law enforcement. His truly asinine political opinions, which he fully admits are not his area of expertise, had me biting my tongue so hard during our entire interaction that my mouth hurt for days afterward.

Since then, I made a thumbnail for one of his videos (with 1.6 million views currently 😎), and I sent it as sort of a peace offering. But I will also seize upon any opportunity to troll the fuck out of this man. Although his ability to beautifully stitch together a string of obscenities so poetically in his scripted videos it would make George Carlin weep with joy, the unfathomably cringe, childish playground poo-flinging he does in the comments section of his videos is so stark in its contrast to the former that I often wonder if I'm dealing with Professor Dave's derpling evil twin.

After seeing him use dildo as an insult at least two dozen times against the Jay Dyer accolytes, throwing shade about Dave’s latest video (seen here https://youtu.be/A3N77Kh2mvI?si=ocjV2eRyc4CGrMRZ), I decided enough was enough.

Goblin Queen mode activated. And she prefers to play with her food. And oh, how deliciously she cooked. Enjoy.

The Ben Wa balls are your court, Dave.