Roasted Vegetables

I recently found this man's YouTube channel called Farming While Beige, and find him absolutely delightful. He's a small farmer raising chickens, beef, turkeys, and eggs in the northern Virginia area with three of his friends. He shows the realities of what ethical farming looks like, is funny in the most unhinged and diabolical way (I'm gonna put hotsauce on your children), and frankly, I'd let him butter my biscuit any day of the damn week.

So I'm in a lovely mood, watching this guy verbally assault (and lovingly yeet) his otherwise healthy, happy chickens, when I decided to check out his longer videos. I quickly discover they are quite political in nature and cover topics like race and racism, voting, and current events. I’m pretty far down the rabbit hole, when I happen upon a series of his YouTube videos going back-and-forth with another black creator about who is responsible for slavery.

I'm thoroughly invested in this drama (naturally), but when I check out the comments section (which is overwhelmingly positive and supportive of this deliciously attractive and correctly opinionated farmer), I am not at all shocked to find…

Yup, you guessed it. A vegan has entered the chat to ruin my uncharacteristically chipper mood. And you bet your ass I made them regret it. I will protect this hardworking, comedically brilliant, absolute snack of a man at all costs. I offer my sassy retorts to defend your honor, good sir.

Enjoy.