Chewbunnicca Strikes Back!
Fangs is on his next adventure, this time braving the vastness of space to confront the vacuous, verbose villain Christian apologist, Jabbermas the Hut.
The origins of this beef go back several years, beginning with a YouTuber and friend of the Rabyd Atheist, Paulogia (click here to check out his YouTube channel), and Christian apologist Dr. Gary Habermas. Before Paulogia became a YouTuber, he worked in the film industry on several Star Wars movies. Thus, the inspiration for this series of artistic snarkitude struck me like an angry Wookie after losing a game of Dejarik.
But first, a little backstory…
Habermas has spent the last twelve years writing his “magnum opus,” four tomes—nearly 1000 pages each—meticulously (and dishonestly) outlining his case for the resurrection of Jesus as a historically factual event that exclusively gave rise to Christianity as a global, pervasive religious movement that continues to the present day.
Habermas's first book is titled Evidences, an infuriating, made-up word (evidence is used both as a singular and a plural noun) that, when said, immediately unmasks the speaker as an insufferable Christian apologist, since they are the only ones who ignorantly and unashamedly use that irritating, grammatically incorrect term.
His second book, Refutations, contends with all the skeptical arguments against the resurrection of Jesus as a historical event that solely explains the proliferation and cementation of Christianity around the world at the speed and devotion it did. Many of the arguments he cites are outdated, having been abandoned or refined by new archaeological or historical discoveries made over the many, many years it has taken him to complete these books.
But it is his third recently released book, Scholarly Perspectives, that has inspired the ire of Paulogia, Ed, and Fangs (and by proxy, myself, as I am The Lap Upon Which Our Lord Naps). This book is a reference guide of the opinions of hundreds (500+) of people Habermas has arbitrarily deemed a “scholar,” which becomes important later in this skeptical clusterfuck.
Habermas REPEATEDLY made the claim all over the damn internet when promoting this book that the “vast majority” of scholars referenced would be non-Christians. It turns out, he told some mighty big fibs, which he is now justifiably receiving strongly worded criticism from many in the online atheist/theist community—Paulogia and Ed included.
Paulogia has spent the last several years perfecting his “Minimal Witnesses Hypothesis” to counter Habermas's “Minimal Facts Hypothesis.” The intricacies of Paulogia's hypothesis are not pertinent to the interpersonal drama discussed in this post, but I will link Paulogia's YouTube video outlining his hypothesis here if you are interested (which I highly recommend as it is brilliant and informative).
Habermas has dismissed Paulogia's original, thoroughly researched, logically sound, and naturalistic hypothesis for the most petty and arbitrary of reasons: he does not consider Paulogia a “scholar” because he lacks a formal degree in biblical studies. Habermas is so butthurt and threatened by Paulogia and his beautifully and succinctly articulated hypothesis that in a recent interview, HE REFUSED TO EVEN UTTER PAULOGIA'S NAME ON CAMERA.
It was at this second-hand insult that my ass became officially fried. I wasn't about to let this bloated academic high on his own farts treat a creator I admire like shit. Just because Paulogia doesn't have a formal degree doesn't mean he hasn't put in the work. He's developed a unique and academically rigorous hypothesis that should be taken seriously and addressed by Habermas.
If Habermas wants to act like a bitchy mean girl, then he's going to incur the wrath of the Goblin Queen.
I give you, Jabbermas the Hut…
My reasoning for depicting Habermas in such an unflattering manner are simple: he's slow, fails (or refuses) to see the greatness in Paulogia's work (depicted below as an exasperated Paul Skywalker), loves to hear himself talk, is slimy and dishonest, continues to blow smoke up everyone's ass, and has a physique and skin tone one can only achieve after spending several decades hunched over a keyboard locked away in the basement of his academic ivory tower.
And here we have our intrepid heroes as they strike a dramatic pose on the barren wasteland of a distant planet far, far away. Chewbunnicca is a bit exhausted by the internet drama, as Jabbermas’s lackey recently infiltrated Ed’s live chat during a stream to sling insults and white knight for his intellectually dishonest dogma daddy. Ed Solo is ready for a fight, while C3PEarl is… Well… She might be bored to death, or she might be ready to blow a gasket. You can never quite tell with droids.
Stay tuned for Fangs’ next great adventure!
