Like Squeezing Blood From A Turnip
Fangs has traveled further into the garden patch of religiously corrupted vegetables and happened upon a bunch of perturbed turnips.
They are closely monitored by the ever-looming Watchtower, whose leaders have a bad track record of pinpointing the correct year the United Nations (taking the form of a scarlet-colored wild beast) will bring about the destruction of humanity and subsequent Armageddon by Jehovah.
Due to Jehovah's bizarre biblical rules, no one will be squeezing any blood from these poor little turnips.
This startled turnip needs some moral support from his little beet friend.
This turnip seems to be shunning this happy little radish, who isn't a cult member of the Jehovah's Witnesses. Such "worldly" vegetables, those considered the mass of mankind apart from Jehovah's approved servants, present a danger to the turnip’s faith and must therefore be rejected.
This wasn't a very happy post, and I found it quite difficult to add much humor to Fangs’ encounter with the turnips of the JWs. Their religious views are twisted; their treatment of outsiders and apostates is cruel; their rejection of blood transfusions has resulted in thousands losing their lives; and their obsession with the end of the world so they can ascend to a heaven that doesn't exist is sadistic as fuck.
If I couldn't interact with anyone who wasn't a JW, was forbidden from celebrating anything fun or from exercising my right to vote in local, state, or national elections, was encouraged to remain ignorant by only receiving a high school diploma, was harshly disciplined for pursuing “worldly" knowledge, and was governed by creepy male “elders" who concealed, perpetuated, and committed sexual violence against vulnerable followers for decades due to disgusting scriptures in their fucked up book of Jehovah fan fiction, I'd be a weepy little turnip, too.
May Fangs nibble on your heart. In the name of all that is fuzzy, unholy, and slightly ridiculous:
Nom Nom Nominom. 🐇✌🏻
